I was thinking about my work friendships and school friendships when I went to bed that night. I think there are a few reasons why I find myself enjoying time around work people more than around school people. For one thing, I don't think my pain really has any place in those situations, so I push it aside and feel pleasantly distracted. But I am more honest in around school friends, so I end up living more out of my brokenness there and that is heavy and burdensome. No wonder I feel happier about situations where I am generally someone happy. Not that those situations are healthier, but maybe balance between the two is good for me. And another thing - at work I'm distinctive. They all think I am so nice and just wonderful. At school everyone's nice, so I'm nothing special. Plus, for some reason I feel much more social awkwardness at school functions than at work functions. That's kinda weird, since I'm more familiar with Christian culture than the broader world. But I guess that I feel like work people are more likely to want me around for some reason.
(I don't mean my closest friends when I write this - I hope you know how important you are to me.)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
i think you're right about the "outside" world appreciating integrity and civility and kindness more. but i'm wondering what school you go to, if you think everyone there is "nice." :-) one thing i've noticed about Christian communities is that there tends to be a kind of resentment toward good people, because they remind us of how we ought to be. they make us feel guilty. at the same time, we're not super forgiving when they slip. there's a lot of pressure coming from weird angles.
ReplyDeletemaybe those are just some of my demons coming out, though.