"Anymore"

I went to chapel today. It was Barry's farewell. I was glad to be there for that. He shared with us of his passion and 2 Corinthians 2:14-4:7. He drew out four prayer nuggets, things he asked we would pray for him and he will pray for us: May we never lose our sense of wonder that God has chosen us. May we always live our lives under his gaze (sous son regard) and in his strength. May we always keep the excitement about the message and the ministry that God has given us. May we never neglect our sacred responsibility, our duty, to share the gospel.

I think I have already lost all these things. And I discovered that I think evangelism, especially in the "love them to Jesus" variety (which, granted, is better than some of the other flavors) is manipulative. Aren't we basically saying that we should be kind to them so that they will feel obligated to accept our religion? And, as Barry leaves, I was reminded of how there has just been so much loss.

The word of the hour for me was "anymore." I'm not exactly sure of all of the implications, and I'm not sure I want to press it. The word makes me think of this song, though.

I can't keep pretending that I don't love you anymore.
I can't keep pretending. I don't love you anymore.
It means the first one. But I've always wondered if it means the second one.

Anymore. Things have changed. Things have to change.