Christmas is coming, la la la la la la....
I started making xmas cards back in July. I started thinking about Christmas a long time ago. And that's been fun. I've been pinterest-ing and found tons of things I want to make - like xmas ornaments for my brother (who's never really had any). I came up with more ideas than time to make them though!
I've enjoyed beading this Christmas. I've discovered I can make any simple cross-stitch pattern with beads, and I've re-taught myself a bead weaving technique to do so. It takes a lot of time, but it's something I like spending my time on. So far I've made a gnome and a penguin and half a nighttime xmas scene (all 2D) as xmas ornaments for Dave. It's been nice to use up some of the beads I've had hanging around since I was a teenager, but these projects made me top up on some more too, haha.
For some reason, my Dad was a lot easier to shop for than usual this year! It's always nearly impossible to know what will please him, so I settle for getting him
something, and don't worry about whether or not it will be something he really likes. And usually even that is a struggle. But last time I was at his place I noticed that he has some brass trinkets that he probably picked up second hand somewhere, so a month or two ago I went to Goodwill and found something to add to his collection. Then he actually told me about something he specifically wanted: he was at Costco with Oma and saw some fleece lined jeans, and I could get that for him for Christmas. He even told me his size - score! To go with that I got him a belt too. And he has enjoyed travelling lately so I got him a National Geographic special magazine on the best places around the world to go, and I found a mini travel guide to Turin at Goodwill when I was there for the brass cup, so I got that for him too since my grandfather had ties to Turin (which I always thought was in France... but it turns out it's in Italy!). I got him a box of apple cider mix that reminds me of my childhood and him, and I'll give him some of the chocolates and nuts I made... and I'm totally set! I've almost over-shopped for him! And it was easy - wahoo!
I'm trying to identify when I use "xmas" and when I spell out "Christmas." I think "xmas" serves as the adjective for me - something pertaining to Christmas like xmas shopping, xmas ornaments, xmas cards, xmas festivities - rather than the holiday or day itself (noun), which I spell out. "Merry Xmas" looks cropped and lazy to me, whereas "Christmas cards" is long and cumbersome. To type, that is - I never really say "x-mas" verbally.
I'm not sure if I'm done my xmas shopping or not. I haven't updated my "list" in a while so I don't have a good grasp of what I have for everyone or anyone who might still be missing. And I know there's still some making to do... and some assembly. I'm going to give coworkers homemade chocolates, which I dipped two weeks ago, but I haven't gotten around to putting chocolates in little tupperware containters yet. I've been demotivated. I just want to sit on the couch and watch Netflix (I'm watching "Numbers" these days, and although it's not awesome, it definitely keeps me coming back) while beading. Or I go to bed at 9:00, haha.
Every year I give out about 60 xmas cards. And I get about 10 back in return. I give cards because I want to and that's who I am - I understand that other people aren't that way. It's nothing personal, it doesn't mean they don't appreciate me, it just means they don't do cards. Most people don't these days, and that makes me distinctive. But I found myself feeling a little bitter about it when I was writing cards last week. Why do I go to that much effort? If I'm giving simply because I want to give, I can stop giving if it's not working for me anymore.
I've gotten three xmas cards so far this year, two of which were from Christine. (Yay Christine!!) She and I talked about my frustrations. She avoids that frustration by only sending cards to people who deserve them. Christine's cards are works of art and she puts a lot of heart and effort into them, and she doesn't waste them on people she isn't close to (my words, not hers). That way she don't need to feel bitter about being unrequited.
But sometimes the unexpected people are the ones who appreciate it most. I remember the first Christmas after I moved to the city, when I had a hard time feeling accepted at work. One coworker named Danielle gave cards to
everyone, including me, and I treasured that. Ten years later I still remember that, and her. Receiving an xmas card is a sign of inclusion. I give cards to all the managers at work to try to foster good relationships between us, and some of the most obscure are the ones who have been really grateful. If I crop my list, I'm afraid of cropping out the grateful ones or never discovering them to start with. I don't want to exclude people by not giving them a card - it feels like it would be an indication of bad blood between us. I think I'm afraid to draw a line on my friends and acquaintances - who deserves a card and who doesn't - because it's hard to quantify the relationships that include such a mixture of good and not-so-good. And maybe I'm afraid I wouldn't have many people left?
It turns out I'm not ready to reduce my xmas card giving yet. Luckily I've got another whole year to think about it.
Work has been difficult lately. I don't understand why our society put Christmas and year end so close to each other on the calendar. I'm training again (I got rid of my question-full coworker two months ago, and finally got her replacement this week). And it's exhausting. I have used up my lifetime supply of patience. This new girl is bound to be better than the last few candidates, but I am much more used-up at training now. There's been some other stuff going on too, but I don't feel like writing about it right now. All in all, work has been a downer that has been hard to overcome.
I'm off today and tomorrow, and then I need to work Sunday night to get everything finalized so we're due to get paid early because of the stats. I work Mon/Tues/Wed and try to get 5+ days of stuff done in three, and then I'm off for the next four! My Mom will be hosting the family xmas dinner this year which means that I don't have to travel so far, but I will be expected to help out more, Dave probably won't make it for Christmas Eve, but maybe we'll celebrate our immediate family Christmas (by which I mean opening the presents) on Boxing Day morning. And I'll finally get to meet his girlfriend! As long as he's not out at work... that would be sad because family holidays just aren't quite right without my brother around.
