Everything That Glitters Is Not Gold

Mmm, Eighties Country. Dan Seals' The Best is probably my favorite album, and Everything That Glitters Is Not Gold was the song I bought it for.

~~A~~

Last fall my Mom got a new job. It was outstanding at first - she was so excited about the opportunities this would provide her to help people and the great way the organization treated its employees. But over the past eight months things have gone downhill. Her job description was changed, and the scope of what she was permitted to do was so narrow that she wasn't able to be very useful and she wasn't using her skills. In addition, her superiors did not get along with her and that has caused a very tense situation. It has come to the point where she has had little choice but to resign. This job looked so great at the beginning, but it has turned out so different. Everything that glitters is not gold.

~~B~~

The song is about a man who's thinking about his ex-wife, who left him and his daughter to go pursue her own dreams.

♫ Little Casey, she's still growing,
And she's started asking questions
And there's certain things a man just doesn't know. ♫

To some degree I imagine that's the pain of every single parent, especially mothers raising a son or fathers raising a daughter - your child is growing and needs a parent of the same sex, and you don't know what to say. You don't know how to be a woman/man, so you don't know how to help them become one. You might try to find a replacement parent, but sometimes that just turns out worse. You love them so much and you see their pain and you can't make it better. It's gotta suck. Not to say they can't do a good job, but it must be so hard.

...How do I know this won't happen to me?

~~~~~

I guess Dan Seals died of cancer a few days ago. I discovered this on YouTube and confirmed it on Wikipedia. Weird. Celebrities seem immortal, especially if they've been out of the public eye for a while. But... I think he'll be remembered and live forever through his music. (Yuck, that sounds so cliche!)

Concern

No one can worry about you like a Mom can.
I guess that's why I don't bring up significant things very often.
I'm not sure I feel better after this conversation.
Although I might have gained some more understanding on things,
I think I feel less settled,
And that previous possibility of settledness was hard to achieve.
Boo for regression.

Update 04/01/09: She called to apologize, to explain that she was speaking out of a place of stress in her life, and to check in with me because she noticed I wasn't happy in the aftermath of our time together. I appreciated that.

Notes on My Fair Lady

I watched My Fair Lady for the first time ever today. It's an interesting concept: not just that low-born people can be remade, but that our language limits what we can become. At the beginning of the movie, it was Eliza's "English that will keep her in the gutter" that made selling flowers on the street one of her only options. As she was taught to speak more properly, she became a lady.

It reminded me of something I read years ago in an article for Sociology. Something about the way we dress affects how people treat us and how we feel about ourselves. That's part of why a lot of places have uniforms or insist on professional attire. Interesting. You need to dress/act the part to be able to fill a part.

As a similar point, I really liked what Eliza said at the end of My Fair Lady:
"The difference between a lady and a flower girl is not how she behaves, but how she is treated." The way we treat people defines who they are. We form people's identity in our interactions with them.

Sounding Board

Talking issues out, even with outside parties, seems to be really important for me. Sometimes it's just the act of articulating the problem - putting it into words makes it more manageable. And sometimes it's the insights they offer or the things their comments make me consider that make the conversations so valuable to me. Thanks friends.

Books Read - Winter 2009

1. Remember Me by Sophie Kinsella
2. The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli*
3. The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs
4. Divisadero by Michael Ondaatje
5. The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
6. Goodbye Tsugumi by Banana Yoshimoto
7. I Gave Dating a Chance by Jeramy Clark
8. The Spiderwick Chronicles by Tony DiTerlizzi and Holly Black
9. Saint Maybe by Anne Tyler
10. Ethan Frome and Selected Stories by Edith Wharton
11. The Science of Good Food by David Joachim and Andrew Schloss
12. The Confession of Saint Patrick translated by John Skinner

* = partial fulfillment of the New Year's Resolution
(on Penguin's list of the best books ever written)

Brother

So it was my brother's birthday, and I was a little at a loss for what to get him. So I decided to bake him some cookies and get him a MEC gift card. I had thought about going to visit, but he was working that day and the day after so I figured it might not really be worth my while since it's a long trip. So I had MEC send the gift card straight to him, and I mailed him the cookies (along with two amusing cards that I put a lot of thought into choosing - one for his birthday and another celebrating his new job). I baked on Sunday, and I went to the post office on Monday to send them out, and I even sent them by ExpressPost so that they would get there sooner and he could enjoy them before they got stale. (Granted, the reason I chose ExpressPost over regular parcel mail is because there was only a sixty cent difference. Had ExpressPost been way more expensive, I would have chosen the cheaper, slower option. Not that sending parcels is cheap to start with...) ExpressPost is a next-day kind of thing, so the lady at the post office told me they would arrive on Tuesday.

I had a conversation today, Friday, with my brother, where I asked him if he got the present I had sent. He answered, "I've been lazy and haven't checked the mail for a while now so it's probably sitting in the mailbox." I responded with a strong recommendation to do so because what I sent him is a little time sensitive, and hopefully the raccoons didn't get it... (Although his mailbox probably just holds a notice to pick up a parcel at the post office, where it is safer from raccoons.)

I'm not sure what the word is to describe how I feel about this. It's almost aghast, although this situation doesn't quite call for such an epic word (defn: struck with overwhelming shock or amazement; filled with sudden fright or horror). I raise and furrow my eyebrows and my mouth hangs open and I make that coughing sound that indicates unpleasant surprise or unfairness. "Are you serious??!!" I also feel disappointed. I put a lot of effort and care in for him, and he couldn't even be bothered to receive it by putting in the effort to go to the mailbox? And who doesn't check the mail around their birthday?!

As some sort of an excuse for my brother, this is characteristic of him. As much as I adore my brother, I have to admit that he fails at sensitivity and gratitude and caring about mushy stuff. I wonder if I do this more for me than for him. Which makes it unfair when I am upset that he doesn't respond the way I want him to.

Update 04/06/09: I got a text from my brother tonight: Ooooooo I just ate the last one of the cookies you sent me. Thanks Shell! I kind of forgot to open the package for a while oooops. I'm not sure if this makes me feel better or not... He expressed gratitude, which is pleasantly uncharacteristic of him, but he "forgot to open the package for a while"?! Punk. It might be a while before I'm motivated to send him anything again.

Credits: Dictionary.com

Pi Day

Happy Pi Day!

It's kinda fun having Saturdays off now that I'm learning payroll, especially since Justin is also off on Saturdays - and especially when there's something to celebrate on a Saturday, like Pi Day! I sang the Pi Song in the shower this morning (the non-Thanksgiving version).

It has been rare for Justin and I to have days off together, so we generally go somewhere when we do. Today we went to a nearby town where we walked up to see the bronze guy on the horse (it was so windy!) and then we went to the pie shop for pie! (Justin doesn't even like pie, nor does he like math, but he humored me.)

Pi pi pi pi pi pi pi pi pi,
Three point one four one five nine two six!
3.1415926 535897932 384626433 832795028 841971693 9937510

Mottos

I'm trying to identify some of my mottos. These are recurring phrases that I've noticed I use:

--<@ If things are going to suck, they might as well suck in this direction.

--<@ When I start crying, we start breaking up.
Also: Burgundy is for breaking up.

--<@ The more the sad, the more the sleep.

Also, it's not really a motto, but I think the work fantastic is characteristic of me.
--<@ That's fantastic!

a brooding blackness

feeling upset tonight
trying to sort through
looking up
entreating God?

sensing
a brooding blackness
in response

is that you?
is that what you have become to me?
i guess that's fair?
or
is it my own darkness that i project?
or something else entirely?

Excitement!

My brother got a real job!!!

This Saturday is pi day!!!

The temperature in my apartment broke twenty degrees today!!!

The Science of Good Food

I bought this book for my Mom, but then I started reading it. It has pretty pictures and interesting recipes. And I've learned some cool trivia:

- Copper pots actually lose little pieces (well, ions) of copper into food - which is beneficial if you're trying to beat egg whites.
- 80% of our food supply comes from 20 kinds of plants.
- It's not an allergy unless the immune system gets involved with antibodies and histamines - else it's just an intolerance.
- Most apple seeds aren't able to grow into trees (they are sterile) because we have bred different types together so much to get the features we want that they are no longer reproductively viable. Also, apple seeds contain cyanide.
- Saran Wrap and Glad Wrap aren't the same thing! Saran (polyvinyl chloride) is airtight but potentially toxic, whereas Glad (polyethylene) is gas permeable but better for our health and the environment.
- When you buy meat it is wrapped in oxygen-permeable plastic, and exposure to oxygen makes meat red. That's what gives ground beef its red color, and that's why I often find a brown section under the sticker - that part wasn't in contact with any oxygen.
- Emulsifiers keep oil and water in solution without separating.
- The human body has ten times as many bacteria cells as human cells, and on average they are ten times smaller.
- Bananas are older than recorded history, and are actually berries!
- Heifers are female cattle that have not calved, cows are those who have calved. Steers are castrated bulls.
- The chemical composition of caffeine is C8H10N4O2, trimethylxanthine. Although tea leaves contain more caffeine than coffee beans, twice as much caffeine ends up in coffee than in tea. And espresso contains less caffeine than regular coffee! It takes caffeine ten to fifteen minutes to start to affect you, and it peaks in about about half an hour. It's is out of the system in about six hours.
- Creaming butter and sugar together is more than just mixing - the sugar cuts little holes in the butter that fill up with air and rise in the oven.
- Cotton candy is 105 years old.
- Only mammals find hot peppers hot. Birds are immune to the hotness.
- The hottest pepper in the world is the bhut jolokia. The habanero is second.
- There are more chickens in the world than there are people!
- Current agricultural techniques of mass-production mean chickens grow in over-crowed facilities that encourage the spread of disease and bacteria. As a result, the majority of the chicken we buy is contaminated with Camopylobacter bacteria (they didn't give any statistics about E coli or Salmonella, but said that chickens are given antibiotics to fight these) - which is why it's so important to fully cook chicken.
- Tempered chocolate oh-so-pleasantly melts at a temperature just a few degrees below our body temperature.
- When you're trying to melt chocolate and all the sudden it turns stiff and grainy, that's because some water got in there and it "seized." You can add more warm water to re-liquefy it, but this will also dilute it.
- European chocolate generally starts with cacao beans that are ground finer than they are for North American and British chocolate, which is why it ends up smoother. In Mexico they tend to add cinnamon, almonds and vanilla, giving it a more grainy texture. So that's why I didn't like Mexican chocolate!
- The mood-enhancing effect of chocolate comes from theobromine, and also possibly from anandamide (a relative of the psychoactive compound in marijuana).
- Bergamot, an essential component of Earl Grey tea, is a citrus flavor - sour orange crossed with lime.
- Coconut milk comes from soaking grated coconut in hot water.
- Instant coffee is made by dehydrating brewed coffee.
- Oreos are the best-selling cookies in the world and were invented in 1912.
- King crabs can get up to three meters across! Could you imagine being chased by such a thing?
- Per capita, Canadians eat the most donuts in the world and have the most donut stores. "Donut" is really only an acceptable spelling in the States, but still it's what I prefer.
- Eggplant is a relative of tobacco, and contains trace amounts of nicotine (.01%).
- Tomatoes aren't the only fruit that are commonly thought of as a vegetable. Cucumbers, squash, eggplant, bell peppers, peas, beans and avocados also fit the botanist's definition of a fruit (the part of the plant that produces, protects and nourishes a seed).
- It takes 8 pounds of grain to produce 1 pound of beef.
- Meat that comes from animals that eat garlic tastes like garlic!
- A hundred years ago in Japan they were growing watermelons inside glass boxes to make them cube shaped. Could you imagine stackable building-block watermelons?
- In some places (Argentina, Israel, parts of Europe, and Chicago) foie gras (duck liver) is banned because it requires force feeding the birds and this has been deemed inhumane.
- If plants stopped producing oxygen, we still have enough of it in our atmosphere that we wouldn't run out for 5000 years.
- Ethylene gas ripens fruit. If you want to speed the ripening of peaches (and other fruit, I imagine), put them in a paper bag with an apple so that the ethylene gas that the apple releases will ripen the peaches faster.
- Worcestershire sauce is a tame version of fish sauce.
- Cold tap water contains fewer minerals than hot tap water because water picks up minerals in the hot water tank. Cold water also contains more oxygen and tastes fresher. Generally in cooking cooler, purer water is preferred.
- Henry Ford, the one who made cars, was also interested in soy products. He helped manufacture the first soy milk, soy ice cream, and soy whipping cream. He also used soybeans in the plastic on his cars.
- It's sometimes said that in the past people heavily spiced their food to mask rancid flavors. But that's not really true because rancid food would make them sick and even kill them, whether they could taste it or not. Heavy amounts of spices and salt would preserve food, though, and help prevent it from spoiling.
- Electric burners are more efficient than gas burners: they get hotter and lose less energy into the surrounding air. Gas burners are just able to change temperature much more quickly.
- Molasses is the dark syrup left over when sugar is made from sugar cane juice. Brown sugar is fully processed white sugar with molasses added back in. Demerara sugar is also a mixture of molasses and sugar crystals, but from several steps earlier in the production line, before the two are separated.
- The most widely consumed beverage worldwide is water; the second is tea (much of which is consumed as iced tea, which was popularized in 1904 at the same World Fair as cotton candy).
- Tomatoes are the second most popular vegetable in North America, after the potato.
- Methyl salicylate, in high doses, is toxic; in low doses (below .04%) it is "wintergreen" flavor.

The book is long - 604 pages - and towards the end I got a little tired of reading it. I think the authors got kinda tired of writing it too. By the time we were at "S" they were saying things like, "It would seem that lower salt intake would lower blood pressure, but unfortunately it's not that simple. Genetics, increasing obesity, exercise levels, and improving dietary factors... seem to have a greater benefit." So... to reduce your blood pressure you should change your genetics or increase your obesity? I learned a lot of cool stuff from the book, but in retrospect I don't remember much the useful stuff I read. Still, I read a review about it that considered it "nearly impossible to read from cover to cover" because of its size, and I am proud to say that I did!

Work News

So I'm going to be learning something new at work (again!) - Payroll! Woo hoo! I applied for a crosstraining position, and the person who had more seniority than me declined it so it came down to me. I get a month of training, and then I'll probably be covering days off and vacations.

Payroll is mornings. It looks like I can kind of choose how early, but while I am training I have to follow my trainer's schedule, and he starts at six. Gross, I might die. Well, I guess I did two weeks of mornings when I was training in the vault, and I regularly get morning shifts these days. But although I know I can do a couple, I find they get harder and harder the longer the stretch. There goes my late-night social life, haha! But the plus side of mornings is that I get my evenings free! Plus, for the next month I'll also follow my trainer's days off, and he gets Fri/Sat!

Wish me luck! They say this is hard.

Friends

Last Week:
Having people to go out for pancakes (well, breakfast-for-dinner) with around Shrove Tuesday felt like health to me. We talked about an upcoming vacation, and planned all sorts of activities we want to do together in preparation. Should we get together every week to do some of these things, we asked? I said that I would love to spend time together that regularly. Plus, shopping for bathing suits and shorts and learning Spanish are more fun when there's someone to share it with.

This Week:
She commented on how rare it is to have friendships where you can do the sorts of things we were doing together that evening - our taxes. We got together for dinner and taxes, and then afterwards played a board game. She's right, that's rare, but it was great.

I'm really grateful for your places in my life, Friends.

Condo Thoughts

I went to look at that condo today. It left me with many considerations. That is... I liked it, but it was not an instant "yes." There were some probably-deal-breakers.

Downfalls
- Price - the ad said $160s, and I knew that what I wanted would cost more than that but I was hoping for $200 000 or so. Instead I'm looking at a minimum of $235 000.
- Storage space - there is no suitable place to put my freezer. They've designed these places with no storage space! Granted, there's a storage locker downstairs, but I don't want to go down there every time I want ice cream. Most floorplans in this building don't even have a linen closet.

Upfalls
- Location - I still really like where it is, which makes it hard to say "oh, something better will come up."

Observations (more about myself than the condo)
- When I walk in, I like having the kitchen to my right and the bedroom(s) more to my left. I looked at one that was that way and I liked it, and then I saw another that had the same floorplan but was flipped - kitchen left, bedrooms right - and I didn't like it at all.
- I know the open design is all the rage right now, but I like it when there's a separation between the dining room and living room.
- Buying a place is like committing to this city where I'm currently living. Although I had no plans to move anywhere else, the thought of commitment makes me consider it and ask questions like: Why do I stay? Why don't I return to the city where I grew up, for instance? Well, my friends are here and my job is here, and I guess there's not all that much for me anywhere else.
- I like where I live now. Granted, it would be nice to have a hood fan and a washer/dryer, but my current residence has a lot of great features, like tons of space and storage (I not only have a linen closet, but a storage room for my freezer and an outdoor storage area too!). Today I found myself thinking that if I could buy a place with the same floorplan as this (though maybe a little newer), I would. But they don't really make them this way anymore...

I told the guy I'd probably be back, and maybe I will go to take another look at it... but my final answer will probably be no to this opportunity. I can wait for something better.