Monday, August 30, 2010

Reasons for not blogging

inspiration
lack thereof
busy
sleepy

things fill my mind that aren't worth writing about
packing boxes, loading cars, climbing stairs
actively doing instead of sitting and thinking
buzz buzz buzz
and then laying down for a nap

carving out time for writing
doesn't guarantee the words will meet me there
but I'll try anyways
because I think doing something
is better than doing nothing
even if the finished product isn't that great

success!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Picture

I just thought this picture looked really cool:
(It's a shadow of strands of my hair on the shower wall.)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Update

Dear Friends,
You have all been out of town. I hope you've had lovely times away.
Thanks for your condolences upon your return!

(Come on, Michelle, just write something! This blog post should be more than three lines long, and you just took a three hour nap so you don't need to go to bed yet.)

So, I don't really feel well. I think that's because I got hit by a car. My bruises turned kinda green and are fading already, and thanks to Polysporin fresh pink skin has taken the place of scabs on my scraped leg. So I'm getting better. The other day I walked to Starbucks without getting hit by a car, and today I wore pants again for the first time (I've been sticking with skirts that are nice to my bruised hip and scraped shin). Maybe most of my residual problems are emotional? I feel nauseous a lot of the time. I'm not handling stress well - and this has been a high-stress time at work because Geoff is on two weeks of vacation and I am doing it all myself (or at least I need to be... the list of things I haven't gotten to yet is fantastically long). I am not prioritizing well and I don't feel able to make good decisions. I get overwhelmed by interruptions and the pile of tasks facing me, and then I get upset at things. I've been bringing roll-on anti-stress aromatherapy to work and drinking anti-stress juice (which they tell me looks like whiskey... but is really just some herbal Arizona iced tea I found in the States). Anxiety was getting me even on my day off though (yeah, singular, I had to work the other day I was supposed to be off because of all busyness at work; if I didn't it would have just made more work for me in the long run). I'm exhausted and sleep is my favorite (even more than usual). Even a week and a half later, telling the story of what happened makes me pretty shaky.

So, I'm just counting everything as a success right now. I got to work? Success! I got to work half an hour late? Success! Granted, not quite as much success as if I had gotten there on time, but success nonetheless. I keyed the sick log? Success! I answered someone's question? Success! I bought paper towel and laundry money? Success! I went to the bottle depot? Success! I wrote on my blog? Success!

On one hand, it's nice to have an excuse. "I got hit by a car! No wonder I don't feel well!" That's way better than feeling awful with no reason to show for it - which then compounds itself with the guilt and mystery. On the other hand, though, functioning is important, and at some point excuses wear out.