Guy Friends

It's interesting to find the balance with guy friends when I'm in a relationship.

Mark called today. He's an acquaintance from a few years ago who I ran into about a month ago. We got together for coffee and a movie two weeks ago, and although he's a nice guy I didn't have a great time. He called again today, asking if I was busy tonight. ("Yeah, I have some plans.") How about tomorrow? Pizza and a movie or something? ("Can I get back to you on that?...")

I also hung out with Kwesi today. He texted me this morning and we went for a walk/hike before I went to work. Kwesi is one thing, Mark is another. Kwesi and I were already friends, but it's a new thing with Mark and I don't quite know what he's thinking. Also, Kwesi already knew about Justin, whereas Mark did not.

I didn't quite know how to answer Mark. It felt really weird to think about saying yes, but I don't want to feel like I can't hang out with other guys. I called him back later though and said that I wouldn't be available to hang out tomorrow. "I just got into a new relationship, and I need some time for that." He seemed okay with that, and I was too. He vaguely suggested coffee sometime, and I non-commitally said sure.

It isn't a matter of rules, and it doesn't feel helpful to articulate any. Some of my guy friendships are valuable to me and need to be maintained although I have a boyfriend. Some aren't worth developing since there's someone else who gets a lot of my time and attention.

As I told Justin about my day today, half the stories that I told were related to guy friends of mine. Then I said, "I don't want you to feel threatened by me having guy friends." He assured me that he didn't, and added that most of his friends are girls. Perfect!
Hanging out with Mark (and not enjoying it) is one thing that made me realize I wanted to be more than friends with Justin, haha.