Okay

I had a good day today! And that was so nice!

My weekday shifts tend to be later than weekend ones, so I was able to sleep in this morning and I didn't have to rush out of the house to get to work. I had time to eat cereal for breakfast instead of grabbing a granola bar in the car on the way to work. The last few days the nausea has been getting me on the way to work (and lasting most of the day in a strange hungry/full feeling), but today I felt fine. I found an old tape in the glove box that I popped in, but it didn't work, and I didn't like whatever was on the country station, so I switched over to the Christian station. This song came on, and at first I thought it sounded like September but I was sure it couldn't be - but it was! And that was so much fun to hear because I really enjoy this song.

They changed the words a bunch in this cover, so my efforts to sing along were hampered but I did it anyway. Then at the end the announcer said the song was going out to "Michelle here in the office" - and although I wasn't in the office, I am Michelle so it felt like something personal. The message of this version of the song seemed applicable to me too. The season it won't last always. Maybe it is just a season - both my recent crisis and my general condition. That gave me hope.

It didn't really feel okay to feel okay when nothing had changed or improved. But today after some of the emotion of my "fight with God" had subsided, I found myself able to say "I want to stay." And then hearing September on the radio was like a smile from God. And so things are okay again, and it is appropriate to feel good. (And I think God speaks to me through the radio.)

Not that all is well. Sometimes breaking up happens in stages; this could be similar. But I am trying to see that that is not inevitable. And for now I am okay, or at least much better than I was on the weekend.

Credits: YouTube; Kirk Franklin