Ex

So I went out for dinner and a movie tonight with my ex-boyfriend. He suggested it a few months ago (remember here), but with the busyness of writing a thesis, working, having company, graduating, and going on tour, it didn't happen until now. To be honest, it wasn't that exciting - it was just pretty ordinary. We get along pretty well now that we are just on the periphery of each other's lives, and we can talk about a lot of stuff together. (As long as we're not talking about our relationship.) (That makes me feel good because it makes me think that although it didn't work out with him, maybe he wasn't the worst match for me and maybe dating him wasn't a completely stupid idea. Not that I'm not glad it's over, though.) He told me about how he's planning to move back to the States in a few months here, and later I wondered if that was the thing he felt like he needed to tell me. But later tonight I got another email from him saying, "Thanks again for tonight. I have some things that have been weighing on my mind that I wasn’t able to share with you tonight. But, before I move away I’d like to hook up again. That cool with you?" So I guess we'll repeat this again soon.

I also got a message on my phone from my ex-landlord today. She asked for a favor - she needs a place to stay because she is separating from her husband. She said she thought of me first, and I am honoured by that. We didn't part on the best of terms and then we didn't talk for a long time. We went for coffee once a month and a half ago, and she confided in me that they were having marital problems. It tells me that she really values me when she shares her secrets with me and then calls me when she needs help, especially considering that we are not close right now. I'm not sure if she really will stay here - she might have other options that are more appealing than sleeping on my couch, and she hasn't called me back after I left her a message saying she is welcome here. But that would be an ironic twist - having my ex-landlord staying at my place.
I wonder what it is that pushed her over the edge and made her leave. I wonder if this is a temporary few days space, or if it's the end. I hope she's okay.
She's not just my ex-landlord - we used to be good friends, and I was one of her bridesmaids. I saw that marriage begin. And I guess I'm the only bridesmaid still in town to see it falter.
When a friend of hers separated from her husband around the time she was getting married, she wasn't very understanding because she believed that the promises of marriage shouldn't be broken. Now she's experiencing that herself. We can be so naive...
I currently believe in personal fulfillment. And I haven't forgotten how good it feels to break up when things are awful. If she needs to leave, I would fully support her in that. And I wonder how we can expect ourselves to make promises that we will keep for the rest of our lives considering how much everything changes over time. He is not the person he was when she married him, and neither is she. But... divorce is pain. Marriage is pain? Life is pain.