Thoughts on "Quitter" and Work Friends

I am often not okay with it when people I care about leave. And I express a little bit of that to them. (When Scott quit, I wrote him a card with, like, seven frowny faces in it.) And I guess that tells them that I care and that they meant something to me. But it's not exactly a life-giving sentiment. I don't actually want to make them feel guilty for leaving - ideally I would like to celebrate them and give them strength as they go. I'm not sure how to do that, how to feel that.

In an email, a friend commented to me,

it occurs to me that so many of your blog posts are about people leaving. it must be hard, especially since, as you say, your workplace has such high turnover. the fact that you keep investing in those work relationships is so neat, though. it might be tempting not to, but you seem to anyway. that's really beautiful, you know? even if the investment can't extend beyond the workplace, it's cool that you continue to be open to new work friends.

I'm not as good at that as I used to be. But I almost can't not care. Work is so much of my life, and so I need to live there and I need to care about people who share that realm with me. (Thanks for the encouragement, Friend.)

I notice myself being possessive of the people in my life. I refer to "my Trevor," for instance. And that's probably just kind of cute when he's my packer - a shortened form of "my partner Trevor." But I imagine it's not okay in a more general context. He's not mine. He's my friend, but he's not mine more than anyone else's and therefore not "mine." I shouldn't read possession out of friendship.

i'm so tired of living for
the kind of love that only comes and goes
but your love, your love
lasts forever

Jesus, I cling tightly to them because I feel like I don't have you, and I need something. Please, give me yourself, so that I can love them in a healthy way. I can't make it happen myself.