Another Update

We reached the half-way point of tour. This was our day off - no concert and no travelling. We're in Ontario, at the same place where we spent our day off last year. My billets from last year saw and recognized me at the concert last night, and that was so sweet (they were absolutely wonderful). I enjoy the billets I am with this year too - they're about my age, married with one child and another on the way. They are really neat people, and it would be really fun to be around them and be friends. But alas, we live across the country from each other. Today I spent the day off hanging out with a friend and her fiance. We went into town to a Christian bookstore, out for dinner, and then to a kung fu movie. It was alright.

The social aspects remain hard. It is hard to receive love and to feel like I am giving love. I feel like I don't know how to be friends with people. I don't know if they would understand if they really knew me.

Yesterday I had fun. We had a bit of free time before dinner so I went outside, and one of our guys asked if I wanted to play frisbee with him. I said "Sure!" and then I qualified, "I'm no good at it," as a disclaimer. And it was so much fun. He gave me some hints on how to improve my game, and it was nice to have a reason to run (although in consequence my butt hurts today). The most important aspect for me, though, was just the attention, the friendship. I've been feeling kinda invisible and unable to change that.

I got my hair cut the other day. We had some free time at a mall and I didn't have much to do but I did really need a haircut (the last one was in August). And they straightened my hair, which was fun and novel for me, and that meant that for two days I didn't actually know how short my hair had gotten. It seems quite a bit shorter, but it's not super noticeable. I like it.

Some theme phrases for me lately:
- ...to be the beloved...
- ...the loser who cares... Anyway.
- (O Sacred Head) We learn to dance here.