Only So Much

It seems that I only have enough health to fill one aspect of my life at a time. If one realm gets better, it does so at the cost of the others.

For the last month or so I have noticed that I've been not really so okay at home or on days off or any time I'm alone (and there has been too much time alone). Because of this, I have been grateful to be at work because there I'm occupied and distracted and with people.

Over the past week I have noticed myself doing better-ish in my outside-of-work life. I have had good times with friends on my days off lately, and that has helped me to feel healthier. But now I feel awful when I'm at work. It's no longer a relief to be there. I just feel so ugh and I feel like I can't live up to my job and I just want to go home.

Maybe it's just that I'm tired. Maybe it's just that I'm being evicted. Maybe it's just that in my life there's only so much health to go around, and I can either have it at home or at work because there's not enough for both. Boo.