Gushy

I hate "gushy." I hate it when the concern expressed for a problem inspires self pity and makes that problem worse. I hate it when instead of lending strength, a person's response saps it.

I saw this today when the young women's president of my Grandma's church (ie. the junior high youth leader) came with a couple of girls to visit Oma. She was gushy. "Ohhhhh - are you okay????" A lot of it is tone of voice - long, drawn out, melodic, full of pity, hard to replicate in writing. Oma didn't seem to mind, but if it was me I would have been squirming. (I was close to squirming when she asked me how old I am and whether I am married.) The way we offer sympathy should encourage the hurting person - acknowledge their difficulties but help them move beyond them. There's a fine line.

>>>>>>>>>>

I guess that gushy is just an extreme version of compassion - sympathy expressed badly. So it's not all bad... And I'm glad for all the support my Oma has in her life right now. People are constantly stopping by with food and telling her to call them if she needs anything ("if you need help getting into bed tonight, just let me know and I'll come tuck you in!").

She's doing okay. She got out of the hospital on Monday (after a week), and she's at home now. She's getting around with a walker and making sure that anywhere she sits is above knee level so she'll be able to get back up. Every day is better than the last. On top of the help of her neighbours and the people in her church, she has a home care nurse and some other girl who comes to help her with chores. Her attitude is good, and although she says this is the worst thing she's gone through, she's going to be okay.