We went out for coffee tonight. The girls. And I guess I felt disappointed.
I didn't get a chance to talk about things that are important to me right now. Things like my crisis of faith and my relationship with Justin. Granted, I didn't bring them up. But they didn't ask, and there weren't many lulls in the conversation when I felt like I could burst in and talk about myself.
Maybe they don't know? Maybe they don't know what's going on enough to ask about it? Maybe they aren't reading my blog. But they seem up to date on another friend's blog. And it's not like this is brand new stuff; Christmas was three weeks ago... Maybe they forgot? I guess that's fair. I regularly forget the details of what friends write on their blogs, especially when we are together. I guess this means they aren't worried about me.
I would like the conversation to be deeper. I would like this community to continue to be one where I can bring forth what lies beneath the surface.
Remember when we went to Wendy's and she shared her frustrations and considered transferring out?
Remember the evening after that meeting when we debriefed with tuna sandwiches and vitamin soup?
Remember that kinda lame baby shower when I shared about my moral downswing?
I still need and want your voices in my life...
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Hi Michelle,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry for not being sensitive to the issues you wanted to talk about when we went out for coffee. I haven't been very good at paying attention to other people's lives - as is evidenced by my late reply on this entry; but I want you to know that I still care about you greatly. I'd love to get together with you again sometime soon; because as far behind as I might be on it - your life still matters to me.
I hope you have a good week. God bless.
Danaya
i remember some.
ReplyDeletegroups are tough, and that one is no exception: it's hard for things to get deep unless everyone's already in the know or in the same boat (floating along on vitamin soup).
on top of that, everyone else also has stuff going on. i know it hurts to feel that you have to "wait your turn" when you're among people who are supposed to care about you.
these issues are also particularly tough, which i think you know. the guys never ask about my faith(less) stuff, either. maybe it's because our friendships have always been more about support than accountability. and that's meant that we don't know how to disagree with one another. i'm not sure...
i'm blabbing now. sorry.