Honesty

Maybe this blog will be a place where I'm honest.

In person I act cheery. It's easier that way. I don't want to live out of my crap; I can't. I think acting happy even cheers me up to some degree, as well as making things nicer for everyone else. And I'm pretty sure that cheeriness is as intrinsic to me as depression.

But I don't need another place to be happy. I do that enough. So, this may be where I reveal what's under the surface, behind the "I'm alright". Maybe instead of being on "good behaviour," I will try to just be honest. And actually, even though the background is a sunny pink, the content might swing a little more towards the dark side, to counterbalance all the happiness I put on everywhere else.

I wonder if you would recognize me, if you didn't already know who this was.
I hope it's not a downer.

P.S. I'm not really looking for pity. Maybe just company. And not like, "misery loves company". Maybe more like, "I know who you are" company.