Cuba 7: Community

I'm not very good at being on vacation. The at the end of our first day, I wrote: I made it through the first day, despite some fears of the contrary: of vacations being wasted on me, of impending boredom and lethargy, of social constrictedness.

Vacations are hard on me, and that ends up revealing itself in a variety of ways. One primary symptom was an awkwardness with the people around me. It became hard being around my friends all the time for a whole week. Here are some feelings I recorded:

The thing about going away with someone is that there's nothing to say at breakfast. 05/17/2010

When we play Boggle, it's interesting to see how reluctant I am to accept your words when you have rejected mine. "What do you mean 'pina' isn't a word? Well then 'alt' definitely isn't either." 5/18/2010

I feel very third.
I'm so glad I have my own cot and am not sharing a bed with one of the other girls. A very small piece of my own space. I'm starting to have a hard time sharing presence.
Three is a weird number to travel with. Small enough that you feel like you need to go everywhere together. But way more needs and preferences to consider.
There are definite downfalls to travelling with friends. You see all their shortcomings. You see how your habits (tidiness, timeliness) clash. Everything the other people do and say begin to bother you. You start to push them away, for the preservation of your friendship. 05/19/2010

Someone always has to get the short end of the stick. And when I recognize it, I either need to take it for myself, or leave it for one of my friends and take the more favorable option. That feels awfully selfish to me, so I tend to take the worst option presented, leaving them with the better alternatives. But eventually I start to resent it. 05/21/2010

I don't think this was about them; I think it was more about me. Me being uncomfortable, and that coming out in my reactions to them. I do continue to value their friendships, even though this was an unfortunately bad example of that.

Cuba 6: Beach

So like I think I've mentioned, the beach was my favorite aspect of this vacation. It was so relaxing to sit on a lounge chair in the shade of a beach hut, looking out towards the endless blue ocean with a book in hand - reading, watching, being. It was a feeling of near perfection. Rightness. Peace.

The sand on our beach was soft, and in the heat of the day it got so hot that it was uncomfortable to walk on. Of course, wearing shoes to walk on the beach wasn't ideal either because the sand would get in your shoes. One neat feature of the sand, though, was that it was filled with tiny shells. They were so cute. I collected some, and intended to spend more time doing so but never got the chance.

A lot of Europeans vacation in Cuba, and we think that was the reason why our beach was semi-topless. Although I've mentioned this feature several times in stories about my vacation, no one has asked me if I took my top off. I guess they think it's not worth asking because they already know the answer. But they're wrong. I did, one afternoon to tan my chest. It was interesting to be in a situation where that was acceptable. It felt like a declaration that I am comfortable with my body, and somehow the natural-ness of being exposed made me feel like I am more than just an object. It was a little awkward, though, with my friends right there. I hoped they just wouldn't notice, but then they asked if they could use my sunscreen and probably glanced in my direction as they did so. They never mentioned it though.

Although I wasn't embarrassed about it, it is a little weird to realize you are the type of person who tans topless on a beach. I don't know if I would have expected that from myself.

Cuba 5: Timeliness

I lost my watch in Cuba. It was secured around the strap of my bag when we went into Varadero on Monday - a handy location for whenever I needed to consult the time - and then all the sudden it wasn't there anymore. I wasn't overly upset about it; I'd had this watch for quite a long time and it has since lost its sentimental value (though not its usefulness). I thought it might actually be good for me to live outside of the tyranny of the clock for a week, and I figured it might provide more of a retreat-type vacation experience. The only problem was that on this vacation time did matter - excursions left at a certain time in the morning, breakfast was only on until 10:30, we needed to be prompt for our supper reservations at the a-la-carte restaurant, I'd wonder how much time I'd been laying with my back in the sun and when I should flip over. As the vacation went on I started to miss my watch more and more. It felt like a loss of control to not be able to keep track of the time, and it frustrated me to have to depend on my friend and her watch.

*^*^*^*^*

I think there's a continuum of "timeliness" - of how on-time each person feels they need to be for things, and how much lateness they think is acceptable and are comfortable with. Vacations are opportunities to see how you and your friends differ in this respect, and I felt like we saw it. It can be hard when one person needs too much time to get ready in the morning and we all miss breakfast. I know how both sides felt because I sometimes I'm on one side of the continuum and sometimes I'm on the other - sometimes I was the one holding us up a bit, and sometimes I was the one anxiously waiting. Both sides are awkward.

Cuba 4: Souvenirs

One thing I really enjoyed in Cuba was shopping for souvenirs at the flea market. I think the vacation would have felt incomplete without it. There were two flea markets in Varadero, and we also went to one in Havana. It was funny to observe our shopping habits: on our first experience, we all walked around the entire market, scoping out what they had, before we bought anything. We wanted to get a feel for what souvenirs were available before committing to anything. Then we made another loop, buying some things and considering others. Then came a third loop for final purchases. We didn't have time to do this in Havana - we only had half an hour at the flea market, which wasn't enough time to even get through the whole thing once. When we went back to Varadero on our last day get some final souvenirs, we thought we could make it through the flea market quickly because we'd been there before, but even then it took a couple loops. In our defense, though, everything was different than it had been a few days before - different vendors with different wares - and it still didn't take it as long as it did the first time.

This was one of the neatest souvenirs I saw: salad tongs with birds and animals on the top. They were unique and yet practical - a fun souvenir, but something that you can use, not something that sits awkwardly on a shelf and screams "Cuba!" Several of the vendors sold them (on Tuesday, but I think there was only one on Saturday). I brought home a set for me (the ones on the left), and another set for my friend Inid (I thought she might like the flamingo ones on the right).



Necklaces were another popular souvenir item, and I brought home lots. They were a fun gift to bring for my friends, and every style I bought for a friend I figured I should get for myself as well so we could match. And then I got some extras for me. (All the ones in the picture are mine, haha.) Now it's just a matter of wearing them! I don't feel like I typically dress plainly enough to make an exciting necklace look right.
Some of them (the one on the bottom, far right, and far left) are made out of wooden beads. I wore one of them in Cuba the day we went to Havana, and our tour guide pointed it out and said Cuban people never wear necklaces like that; they always wear gold. It's not like it was gaudy or anything (in my opinion), and I felt like saying, "Excuse me, I got this here in Cuba!" But I guess it's fair that what they sell to tourists isn't necessarily what they wear themselves.
Some of the necklaces (the ones second from the right and left) are made out of watermelon seeds, with some other kind of seeds as accents. And the one right in the middle is made out of some kind of nut-type seed, with each petal being made out of one seed. That one will be the hardest to wear here - it kinda says "tropical vacation."
I also bought some chunky rings that look like they might be made out of coconut. Unfortunately my hands were really hot when I sized and purchased them (all of me was!), so now they all fit a little on the big side. And it turns out that chunky rings just get in the way most of the time. When I've tried wearing one I've generally taken it off within an hour. But that's enough time to dye my finger brown or purple or green!

So I figured I couldn't come home from Cuba without bringing rum and cigars - even though I neither drink nor smoke. But so many of the people I brought souvenirs for are the type who would like rum that I brought home more than my allowed amount (my friend had to claim one bottle for me). And as for cigars, I thought that my Dad and brother would get a real kick out of them.

It's my Dad's birthday soon, so one of my shopping goals in Cuba was to find him a birthday present. Unfortunately I didn't know what I was looking for, so I didn't have huge success. I got him some rum and a cigar, and the wooden car in this picture. Hopefully he'll like it. He's nearly impossible to shop for, so I just give up on trying to find something perfect for him. I just settle for "something." Like a wooden car from Cuba.
The other object in the picture, the wooden Cuba box that opens on hinges and is shaped a little like a book, is for me. After I bought it I regretted doing so, but something needs to fit the category of "unnecessary tacky impulse purchase." I've purchased worse on vacations.

I brought a bunch of chocolate home from Cuba. There were two varieties - plain chocolate (the bottom one, in dark and in milk) and chocolate filled with stuff (the top one - mint, and I also got strawberry). Chocolate from other countries is always different. The Orly filled chocolate was alright - pretty sugary, not amazing. I was warned about the plain chocolate by a friend - she tried it with her family after we got back, and they described it as "barny" tasting. I'm not sure that's what I would say now that I've tried it, but I have a hard time putting the taste into words. It's... dynamic. I'm not sure if it's good or bad. But I think I still prefer it to Mexican chocolate. That stuff's no good at all.
I also bought some cookies in Cuba. I bought chocolate sandwich ones (kinda like fudgee-o's) that are okay, some lime chocolate sandwich ones that are also okay, and some banana cinnamon cookies that were amazing! They were so good that I wish I bought more, and I'm sad they're all gone now.

I also bought keychains. Many sea shell key chains. I knew some of my friends would like them (now the three of us match), and I also wanted to get something small for the people I work closely with - something that said "I thought of you!" but something unobtrusive, not something that screamed "Tacky Cuban Souvenir!" I think keychains hit the right note.


There was one more souvenir that I was pretty excited about: in Havana there was someone selling flip-flops made out of dried palm fronds! They were only 5 Pesos, and they looked so tropical, and they even smelled good! (I have a thing about the way things made out of sea grass and palm fronds and stuff like that smell, mmmm.) But unfortunately, it seems that they depended on Cuban humidity. I brought them home and wore them excitedly, and on only my second day back they broke while I was on a walk. Suddenly. In four places at once. While I was walking on rocks. That cut into the bottom of my foot. And there was a whole bunch of gravel and sticky tree things between me and the car. Boo.

Cuba 3: Reading Material

Five years ago I went to Mexico on my last and only other resort-type vacation, and on that trip I tried to read Sense and Sensiblity by Jane Austen - without much success. As much as I think that reading classic literature is something that I like doing (largely because think that's what smart people do, and I want to be one of the smart people), it's also something that I have difficulty with. I often find it dry, and hard to follow and stick with. I hadn't given Sense and Sensibility another chance since Mexico because I've had plenty of other reading, but I have gotten a little better at reading classic works, and I've even conquered another of Jane Austen's novels, Mansfield Park. Also, I've since seen the movie for Sense and Sensibility (several times). So as I was choosing reading material for this vacation, I thought I'd bring Sense and Sensibility along. And this time I made it through!

I think I miss English class or Ethics class or some kind of class where we would discuss our reading material together and be led to see its intricacies. I have a hard time recognizing all the connections, contrasts and themes without that. Also, language and meaning have changed since this book (and much of classic literature) was written, and it can be hard to clearly see the author's point when, for instance, "sensibility" no longer means the opposite of "sense," but leads us to think of "sensible." Plus, I seem to look at a book finished like a task completed, and I'm not often faithful to give it the reflection it deserves in the aftermath.

Still, it was worth reading on vacation, while sitting in a beach chair looking out at the ocean.

Cuba 2: Resort

We stayed in the Varadero area of Cuba. Varadero is a town, a peninsula, and a popular resort destination. Our resort was called Sirenis La Salina, and it was rated with four stars. It was towards the end of the peninsula, a little ways away from the town, but we could get to town on the Red Double Decker Bus - a fun adventure.







These are a couple pictures of prominent/interesting places in our resort: the lobby, a pretty flower tree, and the pool. Well, one of the pools; there were two. This is the Activity Pool (waterslide on the right hand side, afternoon burgers and a swim-up bar on the left); the Quiet Pool was a few minutes away. As aesthetically pleasing as the pool was, I didn't swim in it at all or even lounge by it once. I opted for the beach and the ocean instead. As well as being more of a novelty for us, there was more shade there.








This was what I called "home" for the week. There were many such buildings around the property, and we liked that atmosphere compared to resorts that had one massive building. We were situated close to the beach and the Activity Pool, but far from the lobby and the buffet. (We did a lot of walking to get around - our resort covered a lot of area.) Our room was on the first floor of this building, on the far left. We generally entered from the balcony door, since that didn't lock and the main door locked automatically. We only had two keys for the three of us, and one of them was required to turn on the lights in our room so it was easiest to leave it there. (That's right - no electricity without a key in the appropriate slot. That was an adventure to figure out the first night when we got there.) The center picture shows the inside of our room. I liked the bright yellow and blue. We tipped our maids well, and they thanked us with towel sculptures.

Some of the staff of our resort were really outstanding. The omelet lady drew my admiration. Every morning she made omelets to order for a line-up of people with a big smile on her face, standing over a hot grill in weather that was already becoming uncomfortably hot. I tended to like the people I saw regularly, like the bartender at the theatre in the evenings who filled our water and made us pina colodas. And I really really liked the people who seemed like they recognized us after seeing us a time or two. One of the waitresses at the buffet and another at the snack bar gave us greetings with a tinge of recognition when we went there. And another waitress at the buffet at breakfast astounded me when, on the second morning she helped us, asked, "three orange juice and a coffee?" - what we had requested for beverages the morning before. She remembered - not just us but what we wanted! It made me realize, though, what an emotionally hard job tourism would be. People constantly come in and out of your life, staying for only a week or maybe two at at time.

One downfall of our resort, which affected our experience of Cuba in general, was the food. It wasn't great. Even the fruit, which we expected to be amazing because we were in the Caribbean, was disappointing. Much of it was canned (canned strawberries, ick), and what was fresh was really pale (white pineapple?) and low on flavor. Most of the desserts plainly tasted like sugar. French fries became a staple of many of our meals. When we talked to people from other resorts, most of them said similar things. We started to look forward to chances to have meals off of the resort (we had an amazing lunch in Havana, showing us that there is the possibility of good food in Cuba). The a-la-cartes at our resort were a lot better than the buffet, but although there were six a-la-carte restaurants, we were limited to two reservations over the week. People say that everyone gains weight on all-inclusive vacations like this, but with the less-than-appetizing food and with all the walking our experience didn't exactly go that way.

Cuba: Itinerary

Mmm vacation!
It's hard to just blog about such a full week though.
I guess it will come out in segments...

...Beginning with an overview of how we spent each day:

Sat 16 - leave, fly, arrive
Sun 17 - beach
Mon 18 - Varadero, shopping at the flea market
Tues 19 - Havana
Wed 20 - beach, dinner at French a la carte restaurant, Tropicana show
Thurs 21 - beach, dinner at Cuban a la carte restaurant
Fri 22 - Jeep Safari
Sat 23 - Varadero, a bit of beach, return home

My favorite times were spent on the beach: lying in the sun, reading, and swimming in the ocean. The busier days when we took excursions or went into town helped me to appreciate the more relaxing days, though, and prevented us from feeling bored.

******

So, postcards in Cuba are rare and expensive. I had planned to send postcards home to many of you, my friends (and family), but that idea started to seem less and less smart as time went on - as I still didn't find any good deals or pretty postcards, and as it got to the point where I would be back in Canada long before the postcards got here anyways. So instead I decided to wait until I got home, make postcards out of my pictures, and send them then. So just because you haven't gotten a postcard from me doesn't mean you won't get one - just wait a little longer! And now you'll understand why it will bear a Canadian stamp.
... I wonder if I can just send plain pictures through the mail, or if I need to reinforce them with something...

Adios

Spas are wonderful. As are smooth legs and painted toes.

We leave tomorrow!

Miscellany

So I'm officially on vacation, and have been for 62 minutes as I start writing this post. It's weird. Although I look forward to sleeping in, I do not feel super eager about vacation - I don't mind working. It provides a structure for my life, and is a big part of my life. I spend a lot of my time at work, so it felt weird to walk out of there today knowing I won't be back or see these people for almost two weeks.

Geoff's got a lot of work to keep up with in payroll while I'm gone. And he'll be okay - he's a master - but I still feel a bit bad for not being there to help. And I realized that I don't feel like he can go on a vacation until the other girl gets back from her extended leave - although I can hold my own in there for a couple days, I don't think I could do it all alone for a whole week.

*****

I spent all my vacation anticipation energy on Plan A (Mexico), so now I don't have much left for Plan B. I'm just glad we've got somewhere to go. I don't know if I'm excited or not. I'm kind of allergic to vacations, and kind of apprehensive.

*****

How am I? This are things I wrote when I tried to describe it:
- I am tired.
- I find myself in a hurry, rushing. When I notice this I try to slow down, take slower steps and make slower movements, reduce the feelings of stress and bussle.
- I'm not okay with alone time right now, when the evening stretches out with no distractions from the ache.
- Lonely....
- I feel awkward around my friends. One example among many: Anson and I went for lunch today, and I had nothing to say.
I seem to be able to identify more symptoms than causes...

*****

My computer is sick. =( It picked up something off the internet that I'm having a hard time getting rid of, some fake antivirus program that just tells me I have tons of problems that they'll fix if I pay them. I know it's a scam. But the program I downloaded to get rid of it also wants me to pay it to do anything, and my actual antivirus is effectively crippled. Now I can't search for anything online, and my computer crashes regularly. And until I get this fixed I'm hesitant to pay my bills since I use online banking. It's a pain. And I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do to fix it.

*****

Last week I did laundry. My apartment has coin-op machines one floor down, so I don't end up doing laundry very often (plus I have tons of clothes so I don't run out even if I haven't done laundry in a while). I wasn't planning on washing clothes again before I left on vacation, so I figured I'd better set aside everything I might want to wear while I'm there - essentially, I started packing for Cuba a week and a half in advance. Now I need to trim down some areas, and finish packing others. I'm probably going to overpack.

Tanning Discovery

We've been going tanning in preparation for Cuba; the theory is that if we establish a base tan, the Caribbean sun won't shock/fry our poor little white bodies.

I started out at six minutes, and today at eleven minutes I found my tanning threshold, or at least a slow-down point. Yup, I got sunburnt. Er... tanning bed burnt? I'm pink.

I've got one pretty major tan line - down the middle of my back. I guess the way I lay squishes my back together and left one area protected from the UV rays? There's a white stripe going up my back now. A racing stripe. Woot.

And so the aloe comes out already.

Advertising

I got this ad in the mail today:What? If I let them clean my house, MY DREAMS WILL COME TRUE??!! Woo hoo! And they didn't say anything about those dreams being restricted to someone who will load my dishwasher for me (a service the back of ad assures me they will provide). I'd better figure out what my dreams are, and then give the European ladies a call.

Cinco de Mayo

Happy Cinco de Mayo, AKA Remember Mexico Day!

What's the significance of May 5 and the story behind this holiday? Well, it's not Mexican Independence day. Fifty years after that event, in 1862, Mexico was struggling financially and decided that it needed a two year break from paying off its debts to several countries. France decided this was unacceptable and invaded them. The Mexican army unexpectedly won a battle against the French on May 5, and Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of that victory. Unfortunately the French won the subsequent battles and installed a government shortly after. It only lasted a few years until American pressure forced the French to leave Mexico.

Cinco de Mayo isn't really a big deal in Mexico - it's really only celebrated in one small area. It's big in the States, however, as a Mexican equivalent of St. Patrick's Day: a celebration of Mexican heritage. Some people complain that it has been too commercialized and simply serves as an excuse to drink.

Today Justin and I ate tacos and made a candle holder out of a green pepper (a "jack-o-pepper") to celebrate Cinco de Mayo. I like celebrating random little holidays, and I like having someone around to share that with.

Reading

I recently finished reading Confessions of a Caffeinated Christian by John Fischer. I picked it up off the super sale shelf of the Christian bookstore several years ago, and finally got around to reading it. It was okay. He was really honest and not afraid to identify his shortcomings in a fashion that reminded me of Donald Miller, and I appreciated that. But I don't think I'm in the mood to internalize Christian writing these days.

He said something that I really identified with though:

This is the painful service that love provides: It strips away our protective layer, leaving us open to both hurt and love, and since we are human and fallible, we cannot love without hurting or be loved without being hurt.

I think that his words could be accurately switched around as well: we cannot love without being hurt or be loved without hurting. Love is pain. But worth it?

I Love Travel Agents

Vacation!

Two friends and I have been planning a vacation together. This has been months in the making - actually, I think we first brought it up about a year ago, and then actually started making it happen in February or so. We figured we'd go to Mexico - it was the most cost-effective option we found, we found a resort that enamored us, and it had a lot of things we were interested in (ruins, a reef, a spa, etc).

We were waiting to book our trip. My Mom (who is really good at going on vacation and also good at giving advice) suggested that if we waited the price would drop considerably, and that appealed to us. But lately international vacations, particularly to Mexico, have been very iffy. First there was the closure of Conquest vacation, and my Mom predicted that could happen to any one of the major tour companies. Then the H1N1 swine flu showed up in Mexico, essentially taking it off the list of good vacation options. We needed a new plan.

We got together and scoured the internet, trying to find something else that appealed to us, was in our price range, was hopefully all-inclusive, and didn't require several planes to get there. It was a discouraging adventure. We ended the evening with a possible (but difficult) plan that none of us were very comfortable with. "I just want to go to Mexico!" we all said. "That was so easy!" We decided to go talk to a travel agent.

I haven't considered travel agencies all that necessary; my opinion has been that I can do the same thing they do with my computer, so why bother paying them for the service? But we couldn't find any good options for ourselves. We needed help. We went to a travel agent in the mall, and although she was kinda busy and stressed, she stayed overtime to find us a really good option. So the vacation is back on track! Thanks Sylvia!

We're going to Cuba! Varadero! It's within our budget, and although it may not be everything that we were expecting from Mexico, I think we'll have a good time. Some sort of Caribbean vacation is better than no vacation at all. I can tell my friends are getting more excited about it the more they look into it. I was just glad we had something.

Nostalgia 2

So I went to the grad ceremony. It was... tiring. Both in the sleep aspect (I went in to work extra early so I could get off early) and in the social aspect (a crowd full of near-strangers). Actually, it kind of felt like an emotional roller coaster.

It began with a choir concert. Being there for that was almost as important to me as being there for the commencement. I want to be supportive of my ex-choir and I want to encourage the members by attending their concerts. Though I haven't made it to all their concerts this year, I've made it to several. This time they invited choir alumni up to join them for several songs! It was really neat to join them again. I've missed singing. My range has definitely shrunk, though - I couldn't hit the high notes anymore! And I had a hard time finding my part! Still, I really enjoyed being up there with them again - almost every time I go to one of their concerts I articulate that it's much more fun being up on the risers than down on the audience. During the first few songs I even found myself considering joining them again next year. But I also realized that my heart's not really in the right place for that, and when we got to the songs that I thought I knew but didn't my heart sunk as it remembered the hard times of choir.

Still, seeing the choir was nostalgic. They have been together all year now and bonded and become close as they've shared many experiences together. And I'm no longer a part of it. That's the way it needs to be, but I still feel the weight of that. They are leaving for tour this weekend. I know what that is like. I wrote Evy a note expressing my hopes that she has a great tour with a great bus buddy - last year that was me. Remembering. (I almost cried when I gave this note to her later. I think she did too.)

As for the actual graduation ceremony, I didn't realize so many people I knew were graduating this year! I knew about the one person from my major, but many other people I cared about walked across that stage. I remember what that was like - the celebration tinged bittersweet by the fact that what is being celebrated is a parting. For me, to see them graduate this year felt like I was losing them. Not that I've talked to them in the past year, but as long as they were at school I would always have a hope of getting in touch with them. Now they'll go off and live their lives, and I hope with all my heart that they'll be happy, but I don't expect to see them again. Farewell... It also kind of ached to even remember these people I have cared about. Caring means giving a piece of yourself away, and that kinda seems to hurt forever afterwards.

Being a Christian college, my school's graduation ceremony was even more religiously focused than most. It was awkward being in a context where they praised Jesus. I'm not there. A speaker challenged the grads to let God fill their entire vision while I considered how my life is essentially egocentric rather than theocentric. I kinda feel like I have let my school down: they have invested into me and conferred upon me a degree, and I have given up on God. If they knew, what would they say?

All the clapping and caring and hoping and remembering made an exhausting combination by the end of the ceremony. I just wanted to get out of there, but I had written notes to several of the grads so I had to wait until they were done their pictures to hand them out. That was probably a good thing - to congratulate people in person - but it was hard. When I was finally able to leave it was a relief, and I texted Justin: "I escaped!" All night, and even the next day, I just felt so drained.

=~=~=~=~=~=

Tonight was the dinner celebrating Diane's graduation from our major. I was so tired, from a social exhausting event the day before, a lack of sleep, and an early morning to get in six plus hours of work before heading out early to attend this dinner. (It was a potluck but I didn't have the energy or motivation to cook anything so I cheated and brought a box of two-bite brownies. Really, I should be able to do better than that. It's not like I just wrote finals or papers or anything like most of them did.)

I wasn't expecting much from this event - encounters with my major usually leave me feeling deeply and inexplicably unsettled. But this time was great! By the time I left I felt more energized and okay than I did on my way out there, with a warmth in my heart. I'm not sure what made the difference... Good conversations? Smaller conversations, instead of just one big group? The absence of certain people? The presence of others?

It was a grace to be invited to this, and Amanda and I talked about how glad we were to be included. Technically we're not in the major anymore since we're finished school, so at anytime they could start leaving us out. None of the other people previously a part of this group were there. Amanda and I are still very good friends with someone in the major though; maybe we are welcome there as long as our connections last. Tonight we got preemptively invited to the Christmas dinner.

I am so glad to still have friends from school a year later. That doesn't happen to everyone; you graduate and lose what you had in common and grow apart and become too busy to spend time together. And I knew that many of my acquaintances from school, no matter how much I valued them in that role, would turn out that way. It's just nice to know for sure that a few of these relationships are not just "school friends" but "real friends." Thank you Friends. I am so grateful for you.

Snippets of the conversation over the dinner table included a discussion of who all was part of the major and who was a guest. Luke's wife, they said, married into the major. I thought that was a funny way to put it - like marrying into a family. Later Danaya came and laid on the couch, putting her head in my lap, and when we talked about that and I told her she is welcome to lay her head on my lap anytime, we identified that as a family sort of thing. She said that this group is a family to her. I used to call them my "community," which is a loose family-type word. A variety of people gathering together to celebrate certain occasions. You don't always like them, but you've got something in common. Family.

A new girl, Tina, just joined our major. She's not new to me though - she was in our small group last year! (Actually, she kinda was our small group last year - attendance got a little sparse, which made us appreciate her all the more.) It was really great to see her again and to know that we still have something connecting us. I really enjoyed having her there and welcoming her into the group tonight.

Fay, the member of the group who hosted the dinner, gave me her phone number and email address as I left, and invited me to call her to go out for coffee sometime. I was so honored by that - she didn't do that for anyone else. I feel shined on. And she is someone I really admire for her warmth. I wonder if I will actually take her up on this though...