Miscellany

So I'm officially on vacation, and have been for 62 minutes as I start writing this post. It's weird. Although I look forward to sleeping in, I do not feel super eager about vacation - I don't mind working. It provides a structure for my life, and is a big part of my life. I spend a lot of my time at work, so it felt weird to walk out of there today knowing I won't be back or see these people for almost two weeks.

Geoff's got a lot of work to keep up with in payroll while I'm gone. And he'll be okay - he's a master - but I still feel a bit bad for not being there to help. And I realized that I don't feel like he can go on a vacation until the other girl gets back from her extended leave - although I can hold my own in there for a couple days, I don't think I could do it all alone for a whole week.

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I spent all my vacation anticipation energy on Plan A (Mexico), so now I don't have much left for Plan B. I'm just glad we've got somewhere to go. I don't know if I'm excited or not. I'm kind of allergic to vacations, and kind of apprehensive.

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How am I? This are things I wrote when I tried to describe it:
- I am tired.
- I find myself in a hurry, rushing. When I notice this I try to slow down, take slower steps and make slower movements, reduce the feelings of stress and bussle.
- I'm not okay with alone time right now, when the evening stretches out with no distractions from the ache.
- Lonely....
- I feel awkward around my friends. One example among many: Anson and I went for lunch today, and I had nothing to say.
I seem to be able to identify more symptoms than causes...

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My computer is sick. =( It picked up something off the internet that I'm having a hard time getting rid of, some fake antivirus program that just tells me I have tons of problems that they'll fix if I pay them. I know it's a scam. But the program I downloaded to get rid of it also wants me to pay it to do anything, and my actual antivirus is effectively crippled. Now I can't search for anything online, and my computer crashes regularly. And until I get this fixed I'm hesitant to pay my bills since I use online banking. It's a pain. And I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do to fix it.

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Last week I did laundry. My apartment has coin-op machines one floor down, so I don't end up doing laundry very often (plus I have tons of clothes so I don't run out even if I haven't done laundry in a while). I wasn't planning on washing clothes again before I left on vacation, so I figured I'd better set aside everything I might want to wear while I'm there - essentially, I started packing for Cuba a week and a half in advance. Now I need to trim down some areas, and finish packing others. I'm probably going to overpack.