First, it's a issue of budgeting my limited emotional resources. Can I handle this? How will this really affect me? How much will it take to rise to what is expected of me? Can I keep this up? Will the benefit someone else gains outweigh the cost to myself?
When you're full and replenished, you can give easily and barely notice the cost. When you're empty and exhausted, every effort is a sacrifice that probably won't be noticed or appreciated. Everything that you give, leaves less for basic existence.
The widow's mite... she was generous with her limited resources, not knowing how she would survive. We never find out what happened to her. Is it a healthy, reasonable lesson?
Additionally, I was taught to be reflective, and this generally involves asking, "How does this affect me? What is my experience here?" Me, me, me. And a story is only mine to share and ponder to the degree that it affects me. For instance, my blog is about my thoughts and experiences. Wouldn't it be weird otherwise? But is learning to be reflective just learning to be egocentric? Surely not...
...And it's not like this is working out so well for me...
This is gonna be random, just so you know but I would say not just surely not but definitely not. You seem to come from the same place I did 5 years ago. Thinking of myself was not cool with other people...or so I thought. You are not being egocentric by thinking of yourself. You are being aware of your own capability to give, support, celebrate, etc and thus making sure you have the required emotional energy to give the next time someone may need...or at least that's the way it comes across to me. It's like if I have a million dollars in the bank, I don't have to worry about taking someone out for coffee cause I know I have enough in the reserves. If I only have 50 cents in the bank, I have to be careful how I spend it cause I want to be able to take someone out for coffee later. It's the same with emotional energy. If you have lots in the bank, you don't have to think about it, but if, like us, your resources are limited, you have to be careful with it. I don't think you are as egocentric as you think you are. I often hear you ask into other people's lives when I can tell that you are nearly drained. To ask of oneself if I am able is not egocentric, it is healthy :-) Hope that helps.
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