Golden Rule

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Is it fair to say that the Golden Rule is the basic summation of decent conduct? I have several concerns with it, though:

1) As someone else has previously articulated, it doesn't work if you're a masochist. Even if you enjoy causing yourself pain, it is not apropriate to treat other people the same way.

2) It is difficult to know how you would like to be treated in a certain situation if you have not experienced it before. For instance, I don't know how I'd want people to act if a close family member died, because I've never lost a member of my immediate family. It's hard to imagine.

3) People are different. My tastes, preferences, and faux pas are different than those of other people; therefore the things that please me will not necessarily please other people. (George Bernard Shaw said, "Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.") I would love to receive Junior Mints or a Big Turk bar from Justin, but he would hate to receive these same things from me. This realization necessitates a deeper interpretation of the Golden Rule: instead of simply giving someone what I would like to receive, I need to consider their preferences the way I would want mine to be considered. But... it is difficult to anticipate another person's preferences (especially if I do not know them very well).
Lately I've found myself in several situations where I want to treat my hosts and their posessions with courtesy, but I don't know what courtesy means to them. If I rinse my dishes and put them on the counter, am I exceeding expectations (by rinsing them well), or falling short (but not putting them straight into the dishwasher)? Do they have any rules about walking on the grass that mean I should keep off of it? (I do, just in case.) Should I make a strong effort to keep the conversation going, or would they prefer to sit in peaceful silence? I hate the misunderstandings that arise when someone reads my goodwill as an insult.

4) Sometimes there's only so much attention and kindness to go around, and treating one person as you'd like to be treated means that you are not able to treat another person that way. Perhaps saying a proper goodbye to someone means you'll be late for meeting someone else, but neglecting one is just as bad as the other. It's impossible to apply the Golden Rule fairly to everyone.

It's hard to navigate life when I can't even aspire to following the Golden Rule...