Wedding

I really missed you tonight, Jeff. I know I only knew you for one night, but this night reminded me of that one, I'm wearing the same dress, and I missed the attention I got from you. I missed dancing together apart from the crowd so much - exclusivity - for fast songs as well as slow ones. Fast dances where although we weren't touching, we were in each other's space. How I got closer and closer with every slow dance. How they commented that we were "falling in love over here". Tonight I got a little bit of attention, but nothing as consistent as what you gave me. I missed you.

You told me you'd call, even though I didn't give you my number. I knew you could get ahold of it. They told me that in the aftermath although you were very interested in me, you ended up getting back together with your ex. It's probably better that way; I understand that. I'm not actually looking for a relationship. And just your attention for one night sent me on a bit of a moral downswing... I'd hate to see what further contact would do. But still, on nights of dancing at weddings, I miss having an admirer.

I hope you are happy with her. To that end, I hope you don't think about me. But I still think about you.

******

Are weddings always a meat market? Is it okay to want that attention from the opposite sex? Do us singles always go with attraction in mind, wondering who's already taken and who's fair game? I don't think I like this, even though I see it in myself as much as in everyone else. I found myself thinking that it would be helpful to clearly lay out just how available everyone is, so you wouldn't make anyone angry by accidentally dancing with her boyfriend, and so you wouldn't have to have the awkward conversation that expresses more interest than curiosity. But then I realized that that would make it even more of a matchmaking scene... So I guess it's best to just hope you're interpreting the clues correctly.

As much as I don't like the mindset of singles at weddings, I have to admit that it's fun. I enjoy it so much more as a single person than I did when I had a boyfriend. And I wonder whether the married people miss that thrill.

Does anyone actually have the story: "Well, we met at a wedding..."?

******

The wedding was beautiful, and creative, and I saw elements of both the bride and groom in it. And I have so much hope for this couple - they're both really neat people, the type who have good heads on their shoulders, and I trust them not to be naive. Plus, I think I feel good about this relationship because I got to see it develop. I knew them both separately before they started building a relationship, I awkwardly said to them "Aw, you guys should be friends!" right about the time they started dating, I had a couple of relationship talks with the bride as things got more serious, and now I got invited to the wedding!

It was strange being at a wedding where I can say more about my friendship with the groom than with the bride. He's been an unexpectedly good friend to me at some important times, and thus someone I have called upon when I've needed a friend; and although her and I are also friends, that doesn't seem to be as exceptional to me. That started to worry me throughout the day... And I wonder how to place appropriate boundaries on these friendships in the future.