Games Night

Tonight some friends of mine had a games night and brought together a varied group of their friends. There were only a couple of people there that I really knew, and then some more that I had met a few weeks ago at that wedding I went to. It was a good time, and it was really fun to be around people who are friendly even though there are not my friends. I got hugs when I left. That really meant a lot to me.

I also got a phone number. Matt's. He's the guy I played Blitz beside, and when he left he said that he'd really like to see me again sometime and suggested we exchange numbers. I'm not really sure how to say no to that, so I said okay. Then I smoothly mentioned that although I'd like to be friends, I'm not looking for a relationship, just to make sure we weren't on different pages. He agreed. Now I look forward to this, and I hope we really do hang out sometimes and become friends. That sounds like fun.

At that wedding I got a phone number too. Andrew's. I don't feel quite so good about that one. It started with a friend of mine liking a friend of his, so I tried to help that along. Dancing with this guy seemed like a good idea. As we chatted he mentioned he was going to have a housewarming party and asked if I'd like to come. I said sure, if my friend could come too, so he gave me his phone number. Then afterwards a friend of his commented to me that it looked like he and I really hit it off... But... I don't think I ever expected myself to follow up on this. I wasn't actually very interested in him. And I feel manipulative as a result. And I wonder if this group of people just thinks I'm a really big flirt, especially after giving my attention to a new guy tonight.

How do you tell someone you're not interested without insulting or shaming them by doing so? Even though that's a minefield, it's no kinder to pretend you are interested when you're not...

The thing is, I think I'd like to get to know this group of people better. I think I'd like to be accepted in this group. And I think this could possibly be a community that could draw me back to church, into their church. I'm not utterly enamored with their church, but when I visited once the experience wasn't too bad, and there were some things I really respected. I don't know how to find community in a new church, so it would be really nice to go to a church where I already saw the potential for welcoming community. Or maybe that's an awful reason to choose a church... But I should probably run with any reason that convinces me to choose a church.

Sidenote: It was nice to be at work today and then with people tonight to distract me from the sad things happening in my family. I feel healthier as a result. (This week I just felt awful.)