Friday, March 18, 2011

Self-Interrogation

What's the problem?
--- My manager doesn't like me.
Why is that a problem?
--- I want everyone to like me.
But not everyone does.
--- If someone doesn't like me, they don't want me around. I am a negative thing to them - a curse. They see me in a negative light, and will interpret and misunderstand me that way. I become what they see me as - unlikeable.
--- This isn't a big deal if the feeling is mutual or if I can disregard their peripheral role in my life.
--- This is painful when continuing contact with the person is required, and it provides continual reminders.
Here's the flaw: "If they don't like me, I am unlikeable."
--- I recognize that there is a flaw here, but I can't dismiss it.
--- "People are continually teaching me how I deserve to be treated."
--- I'm not strong enough, and I feel crushed by the weight of the effort.
Counter argument: Playing by the same rules, if someone does like me, then I am likeable.
--- I guess it balances out.

INTRINSIC
...
?

Also... inadmissible.

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