What's the problem?

The problem is...
...that Katie's grandfather died.
...that Katie's really upset about it.
...that my head was in work fog and I didn't feel like a very available friend to her when I saw her today.
...that Patrick flew in to attend the funeral with her.
...that she told him he didn't have to, but he said that's what a relationship is - it's supporting each other.
...that my grandfather died a few months ago.
...that I wasn't really upset about it.
...that Justin didn't attend the funeral with me.
...that if he did come, it would have caused some hassle (Oma's house was already over-full; I would have constantly had to wonder if he was bored.)
...that I really didn't need him to come; I was okay.
...that Bridget came along with Dad.
...that I wonder if this is a cultural norm, whether I and my relationship are aberrant, and whether that is okay because that's what works for us or if is an indication that we are just fooling ourselves.
...that Patrick is fantastically generous, has so much to give, and is very emotionally available, while Justin is quieter, simpler, and suits me better.
...that I probably could have had Patrick if I really wanted to (and if I was a different person with a different range of experiences), and that there are important reasons why we are not together (one being that I never wanted to be in a relationship with him).
...that it's easy to see the good things other people have, and to feel lacking in the comparison.
...that different things suit different people, that what is great for one person doesn't work for another, and that all is contextual; that every relationship is and needs to be diffrent.
...that it's so hard to know whether that's actually true or if that's just what I tell myself.
...that I am not very good at letting people be there for me.
...that I feel that it is important for me to remain self-contained and not expect significant help for my problems from other people.
...that too much pitying concern saps my strength and makes me unhealthy; that I'm better when I can stand on my own.
...that Patrick defines a relationship as supporting each other, but I don't know how to receive support.

What's the problem? The problem is comparisons, and that I'm not very good at being a person.